Eighteen Differences Between Easy People and Difficult People

Easy people smile.                                                  Difficult people frown.

Easy people are flexible.                                       Difficult people are stubborn.

Easy people focus on solutions.                           Difficult people focus on problems.

Easy people are doers.                                           Difficult people are talkers.

Easy people are generous.                                    Difficult people are selfish.

Easy people admit mistakes.                                Difficult people deny mistakes.

Easy people accept responsibility.                      Difficult people avoid responsibility.

Easy people expect the best.                                Difficult people expect the worst.

Easy people are positive.                                      Difficult people are negative.

Easy people see others as equals.                       Difficult people see others as inferior.

Easy people focus on the present.                      Difficult people focus on the past.

Easy people give explanations.                           Difficult people make excuses.

Easy people compliment.                                     Difficult people criticize.

Easy people do more work.                                 Difficult people do less work.

Easy people are focused.                                      Difficult people are distracted.

Easy people embrace change.                             Difficult people resist change.

Easy people are certain.                                       Difficult people are confused.

Easy people inspire and motivate.                     Difficult people disapprove and discourage.

 

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Fifteen Differences Between Saving and Spending

Saving is mindful.                                              Spending is mindless.

Saving is for the long term.                             Spending is for the short term.

Saving is difficult.                                              Spending is simple.

Saving is focused.                                              Spending is distracted.

Saving is slow.                                                    Spending is fast.

Saving is constructive.                                      Spending is destructive.

Saving creates space.                                        Spending creates clutter.

Saving is generous.                                            Spending is selfish.

Saving gives you freedom.                               Spending keeps you trapped.

Saving shows strength.                                     Spending shows weakness.

Saving makes you feel good.                            Spending makes you feel bad.

Saving shows courage.                                      Spending shows fear.

Saving creates abundance.                               Spending creates lack.

Saving shows clarity.                                         Spending shows confusion.

Saving is for the future.                                     Spending is for the present.

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Twelve Differences Between a Goal and a Resolution

A goal is short term.                         A resolution is long term.

A goal is practical.                             A resolution is impractical.

A goal is specific.                               A resolution is generic.

A goal creates solutions.                  A resolution creates problems.

A goal is small.                                   A resolution is big.

A goal is daily.                                    A resolution is yearly.

A goal is simple.                                 A resolution is complex.

A goal is easy.                                     A resolution is difficult.

A goal is kept.                                     A resolution is abandoned.

A goal is remembered.                     A resolution is forgotten.

A goal is complimented.                  A resolution is criticized.

A goal is for you.                               A resolution is for everyone else.

Start with setting simple daily goals like eating breakfast, waking up 30 minutes earlier, drinking one less cup of coffee, saying hello to three people or being on time for work.

Wishing you a healthy, happy, creative, confident, abundant and accomplished 2019!

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Are You Delivering a Meaningful or Manipulative Apology?

While the holiday season may be calm, peaceful and joyful for some people it is busy, stressful and miserable for other people. It is a time of abundance for both expectations and disappointments, commitments and misunderstandings.

Whether it is with people or in situations, we all say and do things that may hurt or offend certain individuals or be wrong or inappropriate in particular situations. Some people avoid delivering a sincere and heartfelt apology because they either want to sweep the action or situation under the rug or this type of behaviour is so commonplace that they have moved on to their next mistake or blunder. Other people may see an apology as an admission of being weak or wrong when they see themselves as strong and right with every person and in every situation. What all of these people fail to realize is that you can only control yourself and your response to a person or situation but you have no control over the other’s person’s response to you or the situation. You may say or do something with the best of intentions that you are sure will land with ease and may be surprised to learn that it has had the opposite effect.

If you decide on your own or are convinced by one or more people whom you trust and respect that an apology is the only way to clear the air, move forward, resolve the situation or rebuild the relationship then you must plan and deliver your apology. To me, there are two types of apologies: a meaningful apology or a manipulative apology.

A meaningful apology is timely, carefully planned, well thought out and focused on the other person, the receiver of the apology. It is delivered and communicated in a way that works for them not you: a handwritten note, a lengthy phone call, a personal visit or a quick email. The apology must be honest, heartfelt, authentic and abundant. Make sure that the apology is all about them and not about you.  The goal is to resolve the situation, rebuild the relationship and have both parties feel like they have learned something valuable and can move forward with ease and confidence. If you deliver a meaningful apology, you will gain the trust, regard and respect of many people and will have the reputation of someone who has integrity, sensitivity and authenticity.

A manipulative apology is also carefully planned and well thought out but it is often delayed and focused on you, the person delivering the apology. Rather than deliver the apology in a way that works for the other person, you will decide on the best way that works for you, most likely a quick email so that you don’t have to waste mental energy composing a note, emotional energy making a phone call or physical energy paying a personal visit.  As far as you are concerned the apology is all about you. Your goal is to make sure that it is easy for you and that you do as little as possible to resolve the situation or rebuild the relationship. You want to make it difficult for the other person by making them do all of the work. Whether or not you have learned anything from this experience, you feel eager to just get the apology over with and move on without regret. If you deliver a manipulative apology, you will gain the distrust, disregard and disrespect of many people and will have the reputation of someone who is dishonest, insensitive and phony.

So the next time you find yourself having to deliver an apology for whatever reason, make sure that you are delivering a meaningful rather than a manipulative apology. Your meaningful apology will be well received and long remembered after you deliver it.

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Be Patient with and Kind to Cashiers and Sales People In Store, On Line and On the Phone This Holiday Shopping Season

The holiday shopping season is in full swing.  If you have had a year when everything seemed to go right, you had an abundance of good times and opportunities and you are feeling healthy and happy in your personal and professional lives, then you are looking forward to spending the holidays on your own or with family and/or friends. If you have had a year when everything seemed to go wrong, you had an abundance of bad times and challenges and you are feeling sad and sick and tired in your personal and professional lives, then you may be thinking that the last thing that you want to do is spend the holidays on your own or with family and/or friends. Or maybe you’ve had a mixed year of good and bad times and you are finding it hard to get into the rhythm of the holidays and to find the holiday spirit. Others seem to be having a great time but you just can’t seem to get there. Wherever you are in your personal and professional lives and whatever you are feeling this holiday season, be patient with and kind to cashiers and sales people in store, on line and on the phone this holiday shopping season.

The pressure is on to buy the perfect gift. If you are looking forward to the holidays and feeling great about the people in your life, you have probably finished your shopping and found the just the right gift for everyone on your list. If you are avoiding the holidays and feeling conflicted about the people in your life, you have not even started your shopping and will go out Christmas Eve resenting the fact that you have to buy gifts for people who you think really don’t deserve them.

I worked part-time in a bookstore for six weeks during the holiday season for three consecutive years. There were two types of customers: those who knew what they wanted and those who hoped that you knew what they wanted. Some of them were facing their first Christmas without a cherished loved one or alone due to a divorce or separation. Others were facing their first Christmas without their children as they were with the other parent. Still others were new to the city and had family who lived far away so they were spending their first Christmas alone. It seemed that most customers were either looking for a cookbook or the latest bestseller or a book that focused on dealing with grief, recovering from a breakup or finding a new job. The customer who had the most profound and lasting impact on me was a man who came into the store late on Christmas Eve just before we were closing. He was clutching a small bag from a very expensive jewellery store and was looking for books for his children. This was his first Christmas without them as he and his wife had recently separated. He wanted to talk about how his life had seemed perfect the previous Christmas and now was in a shambles. He seemed lost and confused yet thankful for the chance to tell his story to someone who would listen to him. He taught me three lessons: first, that appearances are deceiving, second, that money does not buy you happiness and third, to be grateful and savour every moment when things are going well in your life.

At this time of year, cashiers and sales people are working very hard and trying to serve you in the best way that they can. They will do their utmost to find you what you are looking for and understand that this is either a joyful or stressful time for you. If you do not get what you want, see it as an opportunity to find an even better gift rather than a challenge and a chance to take out your frustration at not getting your way on the cashier or sales person. Remember to offer holiday greetings and heartfelt thanks to each and every cashier and sales person that you meet this holiday season and go the extra mile by complimenting their attitude or service to their manager or supervisor. Make this as special a holiday season for them as it will hopefully be for you.

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18 Differences Between Positive Influencers and Negative Influencers

Positive influencers soothe egos.                        Negative influencers bruise egos.

Positive influencers create collaboration.        Negative influencers create conflict.

Positive influencers find solutions.                    Negative influencers find problems.

Positive influencers see opportunities.             Negative influencers see challenges.

Positive influencers share the rewards.            Negative influencers keep the rewards.

Positive influencers say “We can”.                     Negative influencers say “We can’t”.

Positive influencers are focused.                        Negative influencers are distracted.

Positive influencers see abundant potential.   Negative influencers see a lack of potential.

Positive influencers take responsibility.           Negative influencers avoid responsibility.

Positive influencers expect the best.                  Negative influencers expect the worst.

Positive influencers take risks.                            Negative influencers avoid risks.

Positive influencers are fearless.                        Negative influencers are fearful.

Positive influencers are complimentary.          Negative influencers are critical.

Positive influencers get things done.                 Negative influencers procrastinate.

Positive influencers are joyful.                           Negative influencers are miserable.

Positive influencers are generous.                     Negative influencers are selfish.

Positive influencers wait their turn.                  Negative influencers take their turn.

Positive influencers see open doors.                  Negative influencers see closed doors.

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12 Differences Between Being Included and Being Excluded

Being included means acceptance.                         Being excluded means rejection.

Being included brings happiness.                           Being excluded brings sadness.

Being included causes answers.                              Being excluded causes questions.

Being included moves you forward.                       Being excluded moves you backward.

Being included shows kindness.                              Being excluded shows meanness.

Being included contributes to self confidence.     Being excluded contributes to self doubt.

Being included is broad minded.                             Being excluded is narrow minded.

Being included represents abundance.                  Being excluded represents lack.

Being included is forgotten.                                      Being excluded is remembered.

Being included shows warmth of spirit.                Being excluded shows coldness of spirit.

Being included causes relaxation.                           Being excluded causes stress.

Being included is simple.                                           Being excluded is complicated.

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