It’s 11 days into the new year and you are either feeling elated by your acceptance and abundance of progress on your New Year’s resolutions or frustrated by your rejection or lack of progress on your New Year’s resolutions. Maybe the year has begun on a positive and productive note or maybe your year has been full of nasty and negative people and situations.
I am happy for you if you are feeling elated. However, if you or someone you know is feeling frustrated, it’s valuable to formulate the foundation of the frustration. Often frustration stems from your inability to fix or change a person or situation or your disappointment at the person or situation not meeting your expectations or your anger at the person or situation for wronging you in some way. You can get frustrated by a lack of care, commitment, communication or collaboration from a family member, friend, client, colleague or a complete stranger.
Rather than formulate the foundation of your frustration, you often blame yourself and even worse, take out your frustration on someone who is caring, supportive and committed like your spouse, partner, sibling, friend, colleague and even your dog or cat. Instead of doing this, take the time to focus and formulate the foundation of your frustration. Figure out the feeling that is fueling the frustration: fear, anger, jealousy, uncertainty, disappointment. Once you have figured out the feeling, decide what you want to do with this feeling. Is there something that needs to be said or done so that you can deal with this person or situation? Before you decide on a course of action, let go of the feeling of frustration. This will allow you to calmly and clearly devise a plan on how to deal with the person or situation that has become the source of your frustration. It takes the emotion out of the creation and implementation of the plan.
Before finalizing the plan, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and recognize how your words or actions might impact them. You may be surprised to discover that they were unaware that they were such a huge source of frustration for you. One more thing: actions always have consequences, be serious and sensitive when dealing with the person or situation.
Once you have implemented the plan, whether or not you get the result you wanted, move on. If you keep going back to your frustration with the person or situation, you will miss the abundance of great people, situations and opportunities that are coming your way.