“No” is a two-letter word that provokes fear and anxiety, promotes power and progress and cultivates control and confidence. This word inhabits many a thought and lodges in many a throat. Yet, once it is said either loudly and forcefully or quietly and weakly, it can have a strong and surprising impact on a person or situation.
When you are feeling rushed or pressured in a personal or professional situation, you can say “yes” when you really mean “no”. There are many reasons why you choose to say “yes” instead of “no” such as you want to be liked, you want to please the other person, you fear the consequences of saying “no”, you want to make things easy and you want to avoid any form of conflict. If you choose to say “no”, it means that you are putting yourself first which can be uncomfortable at the best of times. Depending on the person or situation, this may be the best strategy especially if is someone who expects or demands that you constantly change your plans or adjust your schedule to suit their needs. You may also say “no” because you are not ready or prepared to say “yes”. What you are really saying is “no for now” rather than “no forever”.
When you receive “no” as a response, you can experience a range of feelings from elation to rejection. If it is someone or something that is bad for you, then you are happy and relieved to receive a “no” response. However, you can feel rejected when you were hoping for “yes” and the answer is “no”.
Rather than feel sad or dejected, you must quickly establish whether the “no” response is “no for now” or “no forever“. There is a clear distinction between these two expressions of “no”. “No for now” can mean that right now the answer is “no”, however, the door is still open and the answer could change to “yes”. While the door remains open, even if it is just the slightest crack, you must see this as an opportunity to do whatever needs to be done to shift the answer from “no” to “yes”. This is when you get focused and creative, ask for help from the experts, take things to the next level and set a goal to receive a “yes” response. You have another chance to prove why the answer should be “yes”. Be inspired and motivated by the hope that things can turn in your favour. Give it all that you have got.
A “no forever” response means that the decision is final, that the door is shut tight and locked and that there is no chance that the answer will shift to “yes”. When you receive a response of “no forever”, the best strategy is to accept this response and move on quickly and confidently. Self doubt and second guessing only waste valuable time and energy. While you are doing this, you may miss out on the abundance of even better opportunities that are coming at you.
So it’s up to you to listen carefully, understand clearly and distinguish correctly the type of “no” response that you are giving or receiving. Is it “no for now” or “no forever”?