Disappointment: Is It Your Supportive Or Destructive Ally?

There is no one who has not had their share of disappointments in their personal or professional lives. If you look at your family, friends, clients/customers or colleagues, you can easily pick out the people who are positive and happy and seem to have an abundance of good fortune and those who are negative and unhappy and always seem to have a black cloud over them. If you ask them, you may be surprised to find out that they have had an equal number of disappointments in their lives. The difference is how they have chosen to see disappointment. The positive and happy individuals have made a conscious choice to make disappointment their supportive ally while the negative and unhappy people have chosen to make it their destructive ally.

What does it mean to make disappointment your supportive ally? Disappointment is often the result of an expectation that we have of a person or situation. The person’s words or actions reflect someone completely different from our initial impression and the events and outcome of the situation are not even close to our original vision. When you make disappointment your supportive ally, you decide to take responsibility for your part in the disappointment. Did you attach skills or traits to the person and see them as who you wanted them to be rather than who they really were? Did you assess your value and success based on the events and outcome of the situation? If you could do it again, what would you do differently the next time? Once you understand your role in the disappointment, you can forgive yourself, the person and the situation, let go and move on to bigger and better things. You can see disappointment as an opportunity to grow and learn rather than as a disaster that continues to define you.

What does it mean to make disappointment your destructive ally? If you make this choice, you probably have been holding tight to your disappointments and allowing them to accumulate in your personal or professional life. You wrap them around you for security like a warm blanket and they serve as a barrier to taking risks. They also let their supporters fear, anger and distrust keep you from being fully aware and receptive to a new person, situation or opportunity. You look around and wonder why you are stuck in the same place while others are moving forward to new and exciting places. You wonder when it’s going to be your turn to be fortunate and successful. You blame the person or situation that has disappointed you and refuse to see your part in the disappointment. What you think is a supportive ally is actually a destructive ally.

So it’s your choice whether you see disappointment as a supportive or destructive ally. It takes courage, confidence and commitment to get out of your comfort zone of negativity and unhappiness and do the hard and consistent work that is required to shift in to a place where you feel consistently positive and happy. It’s worth the effort.

If I can quote a line from one of the most positive, risk-taking, motivational and inspirational characters to ever be on a movie screen, Sonny played by Dev Patel in the film, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel: “Everything works out in the end. If it hasn’t yet worked out, it’s not the end.”


About The Motivator Minute

The Motivator Minute is written by "The Motivator" who for the past 18 years has been a motivational and leadership coach for business, life and career. She offers her international clientele a creative approach to coaching, training and promoting. Her greatest strength is that she gives her clients her energy, enthusiasm, knowledge, experience, a commitment to their success and an abundance of creative ideas. She is a coach, leader, facilitator and motivational speaker who supports, encourages and motivates individuals to make positive and lasting changes in their personal and professional lives. She specializes in working with entrepreneurs who want to achieve greater success through increased business and personal visibility and credibility; with individuals who are experiencing career and life transitions and with an organization’s leaders so that they can do and be their best on the job and in their lives. Please note that all material on this blog is original and copyright protected. Copyright 2011 The Motivator All rights reserved.
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